As you approach this new phase of your life you may be wondering: How will I get the job that’s right for me?  And at the risk of being labeled a complete and utter kill-joy, (Graduation Day is still a few months away) I thought it would be helpful to discuss how to prepare for the interview process, in advance.

If you surf the web for “new grad job interview tips” you’ll find most of the advice out there focuses on preparing for the typical interview questions, then memorizing a winning response.  For example, “What would you say is your biggest weakness?” Response:  “I’m too much of a perfectionist.” But coming to the table with a host of rehearsed answers you can pull out of your hat isn’t as pertinent to the end result (offer or no offer) as being prepared for the exchange, from a big-picture perspective. 

Make the connection

Before you even begin thinking about how to interview, it’s important to reflect on how you come across to people, how others perceive you.  Have friends or family gently joked about your communication skills, or lack there of?  If so, there’s a good chance there’s more then a grain of truth to what they say.  The way your inner circle sees you is a good indicator of how a potential employer will see you too.   

More important then class rank or credentials, it’s the quality of the connection (verbal and non-verbal) you initiate with you’re potential employer that will seal, or not seal, the deal. The bottom line in landing the job you want is recognizing that unless you demonstrate an ability to relate well in the interview, your chance of getting the position you want is highly unlikely, at best. 

You had me at hello

It’s okay to be an introvert; I’m not suggesting that you change your personality and become the next Wanda Sykes. What I’m saying is this: if an employer has narrowed down their decision to two candidates and both have exactly the same credentials, it’s the one who can successfully cultivate a genuine connection who’ll get the offer. 

Before you walk in the door to sell your skill set, you must first understand that your interviewer will be listening and processing your responses through their own personal and subjective Do-I-like-this-person-meter. As you speak, in between their nods, your interviewer will be thinking, “Can I see myself and my staff working with this person, 8-hours a day, day in and day out?”  Be assured, the person on the other side of the desk is reading more then your resume.

You start here

Take the next few months to do some honest introspection.  Ask yourself, “How do I relate with people I don’t know?” Picture yourself in the interview and see yourself creating a pleasant experience for your interviewer and you. If you’re not so good at the one-on-one human interaction thing, it’s okay. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.  The most important quality you can offer a potential employer or business partner is your integrity and sincerity. And remember, the purpose of the interview is, not only to determine if you are a good fit for the practice but, to determine if the practice is a good fit for you.

When someone is addressing you with an aggressive tone, it’s difficult to keep your emotions contained and not fire back in some way.  In fact, after a full day of seeing patients and trying to fit it all in, it’s easy, almost understandable, to retort with a knee-jerk response that stings in return…which we know is never a good idea.  At best, a tête-à-tête with a valued client will leave you feeling bad and, at worst, cause you to lose business. 

Veterinary schools offer helpful information on how to deal with worried, grieving clients, but once you’re out and running a practice of your own, you may find yourself focusing more and more on the physical needs of your patients and less and less on the emotional needs of your clients.

It’s natural to feel a bit angry when someone is hostile towards you, but what you do with your anger can make all the difference in the outcome of your interaction.  Below are two simple, but effective strategies that can help you bridge the communication gap between you and your client.

Pause for the cause

It’s been my experience that by merely slowing down the speed of a verbal exchange, I can actually raise the odds of a more positive outcome.   Just pausing momentarily before I allow myself to respond allows my brain to engage, evaluate and better diagnose the problem. Solving problems doesn’t happen when our emotions are in the driver’s seat.  Allow yourself a moment to process.  Create some space to regroup, rethink and redirect. 

Sometimes, I find it helpful to actually remove myself, physically, from a high-stress situation.  People are accustomed to medical practitioners coming in and out of examining rooms, so excuse yourself from the room, if need be,  take a few deep breathes then go back in with your emotions contained and your head on straight.   Creating a self-imposed “time out” is an effective tool to gaining composure. Increasing your awareness of your emotional thermostat during stressful times will allow you to adjust your internal temperature up or down accordingly and better prepare you to handle any situation.

Objects are larger then they appear

Before you walk into your next appointment, take a moment to remember that the people who come through your door (unless it’s for a routine exam) are there because they are concerned about a potential health problem with their family member.  And, this may not be the only issue they are dealing with.  Job loss, family problems and financial struggles might be swirling around in their head too. 

When clients are agitated, try to look past what is being presented and respond back with a softer demeanor. When you take a bigger picture perspective and strive to understand your clients better, you inevitably neutralize the tone, and consequently, the outcome of the exchange.

(Print and post a copy of these concepts and use the information to discuss “How to Handle High-Stress Situations” at your next staff meeting.)

During my research into conflict resolution and practice management, I came upon numerous and useful resources that I’d like to share with you. I could list all the great ideas that I found useful, but I find that the two I list below are the best. Not only are these initiatives innovative, they are practical and easy to implement.

Anticipate problems and prepare.  Reduce the likelihood of disagreements by instating a Principles of Mutual Respect Policy (PMRP). In a non-threatening manner, this document can provide clear expectations, define desired behavior, and more importantly, acknowledges that every team member is important and the practice is dedicated to open communication and treating everyone with respect. Brenda Tassava, CVPM, has an excellent example that she implements as director of operations for the Broad Ripple Animal Clinic and Wellness Center in Indianapolis, Ind. 

Distribute and discuss the PMRP at your next internal meeting and, on an on-going basis, make sure all new team members receive a copy.

Get out and eat some lunch.  My second favorite idea comes from Florence Sanford, CVPM, practice manager at Nassau Veterinary Clinic in Nassau, N.Y., and she describes it as “When our team’s resolution skills aren’t enough to manage conflicts, I’ve sent feuding team members out to lunch together with $25 to talk out their issues. Neither person is welcome back unless there’s a truce. This has happened four times in 15 years and each conflict resolved. Some feuding team members even became good friends.” 

I’m convinced this idea of removing quarreling co-workers works because I have done the same thing with my husband on those rare occasions when we continue to revisit the same disagreements with no resolution in sight. I take him out to dinner and discuss the issue.  I know I am much better at communicating when I am “in public” and he is much more receptive to hearing my concerns. There’s something about sitting in a neutral place and sharing a meal that can allay bad feelings and open our minds to understanding others.

Each of us has unique life experiences, personalities and perspectives that shape the way we interact with our world and, consequently, impacts the way in which we communicate.  Keeping these differences in mind, it’s easy to see how problems and animosity among colleagues can occur. Communicating expectations up front and listening to each other over a roast beef sandwich, might be what your team needs to work through bad feelings and improve team member relations. 

References

http://veterinaryteam.dvm360.com/firstline/Communication+Strategies/Bring-peace-back-to-your-practice/ArticleStandard/Article/detail/529606

http://veterinaryteam.dvm360.com/firstline/Veterinary+team/4-ways-to-keep-the-peace-at-your-practice/ArticleStandard/Article/detail/642323?contextCategoryId=37267

Consider volunteering a few hours at your local animal shelter. 

I know you already spend a ton of time with animals, but volunteering at an animal shelter can do a lot to brighten an animal’s day, not to mention provide well-deserved relief for a weary kennel worker. And if you have a niece, nephew or children of your own, bring them along!  Giving back will give you the satisfaction that only comes from helping others, (not to mention get you in the holiday spirit) and will set a philanthropic example for our rising citizens.

 Be a part of the Season of Suppers Campaign.

Banfield Charitable Trust (BCT) and Meals On Wheels Association of America (MOWAA) are teaming up this holiday season to help homebound seniors feed their pets.   Helping keep companion Pets well fed, healthy and part of the family for as long as possible is the primary focus of this initiative.  You can donate Pet food or money at your local Banfield hospital.  You may even want to support a Season of Suppers fundraising event in your community. All proceeds will be donated to the Season of Suppers Campaign.

Give to your favorite Pet-focused charity. 

There are tons of them out there, so I did a little research and came up with six well-deserving and reputable organizations worth considering:

• The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
• Humane Society of the United States
• World Wildlife Federation
• Dogs for Deaf and Disabled Americans
• Delta Society
• National Association for Search and Rescue

Hope this information is helpful. Remember, even the smallest of efforts can bring about a measurable difference in quality of life. If you have a few minutes, I would love to know how you plan to give back this holiday season.

Dealing with sick animals, bereaved clients, newly hired team members, managing the practice and trying to be the family person you want to be is a tall bill.  Being a veterinarian is rewarding and yet, absolutely taxing – physically and emotionally at times.  You love, and are devoted to, your family and your job, but the demands of both get to you, maybe more often than you’d like to admit, even to yourself.

Renee Rucinsky, DVM, DABVP, and contributing writer for dvm360.com, refers to the feeling of emotional overload in her article, Compassion Fatigue. What is compassion fatigue?  We know that compassion is about feeling for others while fatigue is related to a lack of energy. Dr. Rucinsky believes that compassion fatigue is a state of complete exhaustion that leaves a person feeling physically and mentally overwhelmed.

No doubt, we’ve all experienced extreme stress at times, but veterinarians are more likely to suffer from compassion fatigue for a number of reasons: 1) the profession inherently calls upon vets to deal with many intense emotions on a daily basis 2) vets are innately caring people which means they feel for others on a very deep level, and 3) vets tend to be perfectionists, which causes them to expect too much from themselves. 

What can you do to combat compassion fatigue? First, know the symptoms. In Dr. Rucinsky’s article, her list includes, “excessive complaining, isolation, compulsive behaviors (excessive spending, eating or other addictions), poor sleep habits, poor hygiene, apathy, difficulty concentrating, recurrent infections or chronic aches and pains.” Using a few of Dr. Rucinsky’s techniques as a guide in fighting compassion fatigue, start by saying “No” to stepping out of the exam room to answer that non-emergency client call, and reduce your stress by empowering your team to handle any issues that arise.

There are steps you can take to change things – and that might even include seeking professional help. We all know what’s good for us. Dr. Rucinsky touches upon the usual such as regular exercise (taking a brisk walk during your lunch hour), making healthy food choices (brown bagging it instead of heading for fast food), surrounding yourself with positive people (the vet tech who’s always willing to jump in and help wherever needed), for example.

If you start from within, you can consciously change your attitude – and that’s a good first step to a better outlook on life that will ultimately help you combat compassion fatigue.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a girly-girl who’s afraid of getting dirty or wet or waking up at 4:30 a.m.    I’ve avoided fly-fishing for one reason and one reason only:  It didn’t sound like fun.  I don’t care how beautiful the surroundings, the mere thought of casting over and over again all day made my eyelids droop.  

But as it is with everything in life, circumstances change. My children are grown-up and my son prefers to do things other than fish with Dad.  He’s now 18 and my daughter is 16, which means we can leave them safely home alone. As soon as this revelation hit, another one rapidly followed . . . my jig was up!   My husband’s long-standing fishing partner was no longer a given.  I knew it was time to face the inevitable.

I really didn’t want to go, but I made up my mind to do something I didn’t want to for the right reasons. So I put on a pair of my yuckiest sneakers and my best happy face and joined my husband on his next fly-fishing adventure. And you know what? It wasn’t horrible.  The anxiety that once surrounded the “thought of fly-fishing” is gone because I understand what’s involved, and I gained new insight into the world and who my husband is now. I’m actually open to going again! In the end, I showed my husband that the second half of our lives together didn’t have to be all about me.  I’ve matured and I’ve proved it to both of us! 

Why do we recoil at the thought of attempting new things?  And why is it we can find a hundred reasons to support our inclination to leave life as it is and not venture out? 

The unfamiliar is fertile ground for growth. Maybe it’s time to consider going to a VMA meeting, speaking at a conference, giving a presentation to future veterinarians  or organizing a fund raising event for a local shelter.  Or maybe it’s time to try fly-fishing.  I have found that when I pause to allow myself to be open to a new experience, I’m always happy I did.  There is something to be said about taking a risk, creating a little internal friction, and allowing yourself to be open to learning something new.  Moving outside your proverbial “comfort zone” isn’t always comfortable, but it can push you to a higher level of success in your personal and professional life.

It’s funny because just as soon as you figure out your summer routine and things seem like they’re clicking along, bam! It’s time to once again, re-adjust to a new school year and all that it entails. And when you’re a professional trying to balance two worlds…new bus routes, new teachers with new sets of rules and expectations, homework, daycare and the unexpected minutia that comes-up in the hospital, it can all take a toll on your mental state. 

How do you get through this time without making it hard on yourself, your family, your clients, patients, staff and the guy who just passed you without using his blinker?  I think it begins with a change in perspective.   

It’s important to first recognize that everyone is struggling, trying to make it all work.  Consider that frazzled client in front of you in the exam room…  What could you do to let him/her know that you understand what they are going through?  Even just a knowing smile can help ease tension they may be feeling. 

This time of year, it’s also helpful to remember the old saying, “This too shall pass”.  There’s a lot of wisdom in those few words. And although school season will always be busy, back-to-school really only lasts a few weeks or so. Taking yourself out of the moment and realizing that this time is short-lived can help you gain a gentler perspective on where you (or your clients) are at this point. 

There was also an article posted on dvm360.com addressing the same thing. Gabbing, as they referred to it (or bonding) can make you happier and healthier.  The article also mentions gossip but no one condones spreading rumors or that type of behavior in the workplace.

You know, every year at this time, probably like you, I have the same problem. I struggle to keep it together and not bite someone’s head off. Interestingly enough, it was only a few months back, pre-summer, around April/May, that I remember looking forward to the lazy days of summer. But here I am, near the end of August, counting down the days to Labor Day and the stress of the kids returning back to school. I bet that you and a few of your veterinary staff surely can relate to this, having children of your own. Schedules are going to change, rides will be needed, conferences will need attending and so on. When I feel this familiar end-of-the-summer anxiousness hit, I know exactly what to do. I do what I always do when I’m about to lose it. I phone a friend. It always helps. You obviously wouldn’t do this at the hospital but I think conversing about these “common” or shared feelings during a down time, at lunch or between patients is a good way to build stronger, better relationships at the practice. It’s also another opportunity to connect by getting to know your team members on a more personal level.

Think about it. Sometimes the best stress-reducer is simply sharing your stress with someone else. Maybe it’s a complex case or a non-compliant client who is frustrating you, or just merely the day-to-day scramble of running a practice. The act of talking it out – and getting support and empathy from someone else – is a great way of blowing off steam and reducing stress.

It’s never too late to cultivate these important relationships. 

Why do I always see shame on the faces of people who’ve not been able to stay on their diet?  I used to be perplexed by this, and then one day, the light bulb went on. 

We all think it’s our fault. Believing the diet plan is full-proof, most people blame weight-loss failure on either a lack of willpower or personal strength, never pointing a finger at the blueprint. 

But food is neither the enemy nor your BFF.  It’s fuel, plain and simple.  Eating food is physiologically necessary (especially if you want to keep up with the pace at your practice) and here’s where I make the comparison between food and urine.

Food.  The desire to eat is an internal indicator just like the urge to go. It has nothing to do with willpower, internal fortitude or character.  A message starts in your stomach and tells your brain Hey, I’m hungry.  Do something about it.  You either respond to the request by eating, or you ignore it. If you’re trying to lose weight, like many others, you’ll likely try to suppress the desire to eat and disregard the message. But ignoring it doesn’t make it go away.  And no good can come from not eating. Besides, how can you properly handle your patients without energy that comes from food?

Urine.  The same thing happens when your bladder is full.  A message goes up to the brain saying, Hey, I gotta go, which, of course, prompts you to begin looking around for a bathroom.  At your earliest convenience (maybe after you finish with your next client), you address the situation without giving it another thought and move on with your day.

An interesting thought to ponder: What would happen if you didn’t have a built-in monitoring system that notifies you when it’s time to go? Now I’m no urologist, but I know that if we didn’t eliminate the toxins in our bodies on a regular basis, there’d be a lot of sick people walking around, not to mention the mental torment and physical discomfort that goes along with holding it.  Not an enjoyable experience.  And really how effective would you be at work, at home, in life, if you suppressed the urge for an extended period of time?  Talk about unpleasant, distracting and absolutely pointless. 

No, I’d wager you’ve never thought about waiting as long as you can to and I also bet you’ve never connected this sensation with a flaw in your personality and yet that’s what people do, everyday, when it comes to eating. 

Are you guilty of going for long periods of time without eating, all in the name of I’m too busy? The practice needs me?  Do you think ahead by planning, preparing and bringing food with you to the hospital, in case you get too busy to take an official lunch break?  If you take the time to get rid of what you don’t need, you can stop long enough to take in what you do.

Basic principle of human existence: Hunger = empty tank.  Food = the fuel needed to fill the empty tank.  We need to make peace with our only source of energy, stop blaming ourselves for feeling hunger and take the time to give our bodies what they need.

The seminar went from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm but no way could I take an entire day away from “productive time” (productive time = working on the computer, or working with clients. No deviation) No, a seminar is not really necessary and something I don’t really need to do, so taking a whole day away from my business, my routine, would really be out of the question. Half a day will do just fine.

Now, the seminar was free and had a list of speakers that included big names like: Colin Powell, Rudy Giuliani and Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, the US Airways pilot who made the emergency landing in the Hudson River last winter. Not too shabby, right? Even if you don’t much agree with the politics of the first two, how cool would it be to listen to “Cap’n Sully” talk about the experience of successfully landing a jetliner down onto an aquatic runway? I’m in!

I get there and I see that I’m not the only genius in Greensboro who thought this sounded like a good idea. The Coliseum was 90% full. As I glanced around the crowded place I thought, “Wow, everyone here shares one commonality; they’re obviously open to a new idea.” Maybe they’re looking for a way to improve their financial situation, enhance their career or seek encouragement to help them deal with a personal struggle. Whatever it is, they’re here, I thought, putting aside their life duties, in the name of self-improvement. Because if they weren’t receptive to some form of change, they’d be home, doing their own interpretation of “productive time.”

I’m feeling a twinge of remorse. The speakers I heard were inspiring and interesting! Why didn’t I recognize this opportunity as one that would be valuable enough to devote my entire day to? And while I’m coming clean about not exactly seeing this experience as important enough to swap it out for “productive time,” let me also add (with my head hung low) that I didn’t see anyone else sauntering in after the lunch break. Oh, the shame!

I had a great time listening to the speakers. Loved hearing them share their stories of lessons learned, wisdom gained and applicable advice. How easy it is to keep banging at the widgets of our lives, rarely stopping to take the opportunity to refresh, renew and regroup. And how fulfilling and yes, fun it is to challenge yourself; mix it up from time to time.

It’s easy to get stuck in routine, telling ourselves that new opportunities – whether they are personal, like getting together with new friends or professional, like attending continuing education opportunities – are just something we’d rather not do. Too much work to make it happen! But thinking short-term and getting waylaid by logistics isn’t what got you where you are today. Keep momentum going; seek out opportunities to see things from a different perspective by getting out from your world. The fruit of new information is growth. Hey, the seminar must have worked! There’s no way I was capable of coming up with Ghandi-like advice like this before I… Got Motivated!

Are you guilty of not taking time to experience new opportunities that might challenge your status quo?