The Wagging Tail

Plopping myself down in front of the TV, sipping my morning coffee, I listened to a discussion between a morning talk-show host and a registered dietician, a few days back. The conversation surrounded the particulars of a certain celebrity who had gained back all the weight she had recently lost. I’m sure other listeners were glued to their sofas too because this story had two things going for it: One, it was about a celebrity and two, it was about weight loss, a sure fire formula to get folks to tune-in.

The first thing the dietician said was, “We need to change our relationship with food, in order to lose weight for the long-haul.” Hummm… Relationship. With. Food. How intriguing. To suggest that people have the same kind of bond with groceries that we do with living, breathing creatures got my wheels turning. I started thinking about this union in a literal sense.

Is it possible to have a personal connection to some thing as inanimate as an energy source? After all, you don’t see people over indulging with water or air and these elements are more necessary to human survival than food. No, I’ve never heard anyone say, I just can’t walk past a plant store; the oxygen levels are way too tempting for me. All I have to do is take one step into the store, and I end up hyperventilating and THEN, I’m ridden with guilty for whiffing it all in, and over indulging.

I don’t doubt that people can have an attachment to objects, but a real relationship? I guess it’s possible. Take Tom Hanks’ character, Chuck Nolan, in the Movie, Castaway. The ball (Wilson, remember?) was his BFF! For 1500 days Wilson never left his side, always provided a listening ear and never judged or criticized. Wilson was really the reason Chuck was able to survive during his nightmarish ordeal. This inanimate object shared in the character’s darkest moments and was by his side during times of momentary happiness and triumph. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I guess that’s how it is with food. It’s never far away, it doesn’t judge or ask why. It’s always there, tasting good and providing momentary pleasure, a quick escape from life’s chaos and problems. When we feel alone, left to deal with the struggles on our island, it comforts.

But we don’t live on an uninhabited island. We can choose to take comfort in food or deal with pain in other ways. We can take a walk, pick-up the phone or just live in uncomfortable moments, knowing they’ll pass. I guess the question to ask yourself is this: What kind of relationship do I have with food? Is it a doting mother, providing an ever-present cushion of protection from emotional pain and discomfort, or maybe a co-dependant friend who only tells you what you want to hear? I’m not suggesting we break the ties that bind. Food is, of course, something we physiologically need. It just seems to me, we need to decrease the level of intimacy. Maybe the best kind of association to have with food is like that of an acquaintance. Always enjoyable, spending time together, but not a relationship tied up in dependency.

As a veterinarian you typically have a fast-paced, fully booked schedule. Maybe you’re using food for instant comfort, perhaps not taking time to think about what it is that is going on at that moment. Do you find yourself grabbing for unhealthy foods during the day in an attempt to comfort yourself, for a quick escape or a need to self-nurture?

Why is it when people decide to “lose weight and get healthy” they take on a kind of wanton fervor, like those contestants on popular reality shows? The premise of many reality-based shows is rooted in the saying, “He who gets there fast-eth, win-eth”. Take The Amazing Race. I’m not exactly a huge fan of the show, but I’ve seen bits and pieces, so I get the gist. People tune in to watch teams intensely compete with one another, working ’round the clock to arrive first at a particular destination, so they can win the big prize which is a marriage proposal from someone they met three months ago. Wait a minute. I think I might be a little confused. No matter. The point is that imposing time constraints on these shows is paramount to viewablity, not to mention big, big business; after all, nobody wants to watch people strolling leisurely along the Tibetan marketplace, or watch a drawn-out relationship that develops at a natural and healthy progression, right? B.O.R.I.N.G! If you think about it, you probably face the same type of expectation from time to time with clients who assume you will just “cure” their Pet now and don’t consider ongoing management or treatment.

So what about The Biggest Loser? It is currently the eleventh most popular reality show on TV, and If there’s any reality show that can make a difference in the lives of its viewers, it should be this one, right? No big surprise, Americans are progressively becoming more out of shape. (In fact, the populace has grown 1% fatter since you started reading this blog! Not really, but I’m trying to make a point here.) Seriously, if there’s anything to be gained (excuse the pun) from watching a reality show, The Biggest Loser should be the reality show that earns a Golden Globe for it’s role in making a life-changing impact on it’s audience.

So here is my problem with the show:

While I love the fact that people on the show end-up losing weight and, I believe, keep it off, I have concerns about some of the underlying messages. Number one, when I tune into the first few episodes, I see morbidly obese people who haven’t exercised in years, moaning from the pain, struggling to achieve nearly impossible goals, like climbing some huge mountain with a 20 lb. backpack atop their bodies. Good for ratings? Inspiring to watch? Absolutely. Okay for the average overweight Joe or Jenny to attempt? Not so much. Exercising at this intensity is neither necessary nor recommended. Long term results come from small incremental changes that occur gradually, over time.

Imagine if you asked a client with an overweight pet to strap on a five pound weight and run them around the dog park every day. It would be absurd (not to mention dangerous). Instead, you prescribe a logical course of action, that is appropriate for the pet in your care.

The other problem I have with the show is the large amount of weight people lose each week. Losing twelve-pounds a week isn’t a realistic goal and, frankly, doesn’t happen in the real world, yet, no one on the show tells you that. In our profession, we can be “coaches” for our clients. After prescribing a plan for weight loss, we can check in with clients to monitor progress and adjust as necessary for the pet. This not only ensures better long-term success rates, but helps us see potential problems before they arise.

Now, I’m not saying don’t watch The Biggest Loser, I’m just saying, the show is more about drama and less about useful fitness info. Changing an attitude, a set of beliefs and behaviors takes time. It’s so not about getting there quickly because the fast approach never really works. No matter how entertaining it may be.

 “So, are you back to the grind, or are you still feeling the afterglow of your amazing vacation?” a friend of mine asked me. I can tell by the way she said “grind,” she basically means the hard work of everyday life. I’m two weeks back from the-vacation-of-all-vacations (*don’t ask, you’ll be forced to hate me) and I’m a bit perplexed by her question. I assume she’s referring to my mental state, post-vacation.

I stuttered, “I’m, I’m still feeling good from my time away…” A bit vague, I know, but the best I could come up with at the time. Truth be told, I had an amazing week. I completely enjoyed my getaway, happy for the break in accountability, but equally happy to return to my world of work, as well as family and friends. Sound too Pollyanna?  Sorry, I make no apologies. I like…no, love, what I do for a living and I know you feel the same way about your chosen career. No, I don’t dabble in the paranormal; I just know a few things about veterinarians, based on the last 18-months of working with Banfield folks. Here’s what I know: One – Veterinarians are passionate about the business of taking care of animals.  Two – Vets are committed to fulfilling their professional obligations, and then some. And three – Vets are amazing people.  

Here’s something else I know about you: You hold the same high-standard in your personal life, doing everything in your power to be the best friend, best parent and best child you can possibly be. But striving to be the best in every part of your life can be hard and all-consuming. Setting high-standards leaves little or no room for downtime. And although most vets buy into the concept of taking time away from life’s responsibilities, the reality is, many are not good at making time for breaks or regular vacations.

I know, I know… there are lots of good reasons why taking time-off right now might seem inconceivable. It’s hard to break away when you feel like the infrastructure might collapse, not to mention the cost and logistical details involved with planning a vacation.  But if you stop and really let yourself think about it, it’s highly unlikely that taking a couple of days of “R&R” will negatively impact your business or your personal life. In fact, it might do just the opposite. Most people soon realize that what they once considered to be an unproductive use of their time (usually pre-vacation) is actually very productive use of their time (usually post-vacation.) Renewed energy and a fresh perspective are the bi-products of an enjoyable vacation.

Are you bad about making plans to go away? When was the last time you took a vacation?  If you are someone who does take time off, regularly, how do you do it?  What do you tell yourself to make it happen?

* If you’re curious about where I went, post a comment and I’ll respond.

 

 “What do you think about protein shakes?” my client, Kelly, asked me, as she sat up from her last set of chest presses. I love this kind of inquiry because it gives me an opportunity to challenge popular beliefs that aren’t always accurate. “I have nothing against them,” I answered, “if you want to be a bodybuilder.”  I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic. I was just trying to make a point. As we moved on to another exercise, I added, it’s not that I think powders, bars and supplements are inherently “bad,” I just think their purpose is misunderstood.” How many times have you had a protein shake or energy bar in place of lunch because you couldn’t step out of the hospital to get real food?

If these products were bought with the intention of being consumed now and then, I wouldn’t see a problem, but most people buy them with the intention of eating them every day. What I see is an “all or nothing” mentality that seems to go along with the purchase. What do you foresee happening when you inevitably get bored with the one-meal option you’ve allowed yourself? I mean, even broccoli, which is a powerhouse of nutrients, isn’t something you would eat everyday.  

Throughout my years of personal training, speaking and tele-training, I have found that most people – including veterinarians – don’t want to look “ripped” or “cut” and they aren’t interested in winning first-prize for the best body out there. They just want to lose some weight, improve muscle-tone, feel better and not have to hide under their scrubs or lab coat. So the bottom line is this, unless your goal is to create a competition-ready body, the self-discipline needed to eat the same thing every single day is not only unpleasant, it’s unachievable.

If you’re looking to improve your health for the long-haul, make a vow to never start something that is so rigid. It’s impossible to maintain, no matter how appealing it sounds, or how enthusiastic your friends are about their miraculous results. As you consider options and ways to improve your health, ask yourself, is this an eating plan? Is this a workout regimen I can see myself adhering to, for a long time? If your honest answer is no, don’t set yourself up for failure. 

Here’s a protein shake alternative. This smoothie recipe is sweet, creamy, nutritious, and satisfying to both your taste buds as well as your hunger. It’s easy to make, healthy and something you can incorporate into your eating plan for the rest of your life. 

In a blender combine:

½ c juice (orange, pomegranate, whatever)
½ c soy or skim milk (your preference, again)
½ banana (I freeze bananas when they become over-ripe)
1 c frozen fruit (I like a combination of berries)
4 – 8 oz. container of low-fat yogurt
*add or subtract ingredients to taste  

You probably have a “fav” nutritious, quick and tasty snack you like that you can easily take to the hospital. If so, what is it?

This morning, my alarm went off as usual.  It’s Monday, which means I waited until the very last nano-second to put my feet on the floor and start my day.  What is it about waking-up on Mondays that makes it so difficult to get moving?  Talk about a struggle to overcome inertia.  It’s like there’s cobwebs in my brain and weights around my feet, both working together to keep me from being alert, productive and energized. 

Although the Monday Blues are, I’m sure, universal and somewhat inevitable; I have to believe there’s a better way to start the week, other than the routine of: 1)  “search and destroy” the alarm clock, 2) mindless shuffle to the shower and 3) move through the first-half of the day on auto-pilot. 

Are Mondays like that for you?  Are you thinking about the team meeting scheduled first thing, wondering what endless concerned Pet owner questions are in store for you, maybe having to squeeze in unexpected appointments because of what happened to Rover over the weekend? If you’re one of those people who has never yelled, “Hooray, it’s Monday!” you’re in good company.  I don’t have any statistics to back me up on this, but I can tell you that the majority of people I know are like me.  I’m fairly certain it’s the same everywhere.

But change is in the air because I’m planning to start 2009 with a new game plan and a new outlook on Mondays.  If you’re “Monday Challenged” like me, maybe you’ll want to join me in making an effort to alter your current perspective on the first day of the week.  Here are some suggestions.

It’s not your alarm clock’s fault you have to get up, right? You shouldn’t take your anger out on a defenseless piece of technology that’s just trying to do its job.  Maybe you wouldn’t harbor such ill feelings toward the little guy, or the first day of the week, if you decide to wake up a wee bit earlier.  It might be a struggle the first few days, but anything new takes time to get use to.  Make a promise to yourself right now to get up 5, 10 or even 20 minutes earlier to give yourself more time to get ready and maybe even sit quietly for 5 minutes each morning.  Intrigued by the concept of sitting still and thinking?  I’m not sure what you can expect from 300 seconds of silence, but be willing to see where it takes you.  Starting your day from a mentally peaceful place has to be better than the 100-yard dash we’re running in now.

Make Monday the new Friday. Well, maybe not Friday, but why not the new Wednesday?  Make an effort to do something fun on Mondays.  Go to lunch (with or without someone else), go for a walk during lunch or plan something in the evening.  The point is, there is no reason for any of us to wait for the middle or end of the week to engage in something enjoyable.   Why not think, TGIM!

If you struggle with Monday too, is there anything you do now or have done in the past, to off-set the Monday Blues?

Don’t you just marvel at the way life’s lessons seem to come at you in so many different ways, from lots of different sources and, sometimes, from out of the blue? More times than not, we learn about what’s really important and how to live a better, more fulfilling life, when we aren’t deliberately looking for enlightenment. Now and again, we stumble upon wisdom when someone says something we hadn‘t thought of before and it stops us in our tracks and makes us think, then rethink, our attitudes and beliefs. I guess you could say wisdom is sneaky.I had one of these sneaky moments last month, when I was flying back from Banfield’s Veterinarian Symposium. I was at the event to provide a presentation on the topic of balance, specifically, to help our vets with the struggles they face that inherently go along with managing a practice and a personal life.

On the plane ride back home, I started thinking about my presentation, brainstorming ways to improve the overall message, when I suddenly found myself distracted by one of the flight attendants, as she gave the standard speech we’ve all heard a hundred times: “Welcome on board Flight 2452,” she then moved on to the part about the nearest exits and ended with a description of how and when to use the oxygen masks. Nothing newsworthy here, but as she spoke, and went to demonstrate the use of the masks, I honed in on the part about when to place the mask on, if traveling with small children. It went something like this: “If you are traveling with small children, please remember to secure the oxygen mask over your mouth and nose, before assisting children with theirs.”

Well, that’s an interesting concept, I thought. So, if the cabin loses pressure or something catastrophic happens, we should first take care of ourselves and then help others. It’s like that in life, easy to go directly to helping others, forgetting about our own basic needs.

I think the big-picture message that the flight attendant so eloquently delivered is about rethinking the importance of self-care. Instead of always putting yourselves on the back-burner, consider the small amounts of time it takes to focus on your own well-being to be essential in keeping your head above water and necessary in helping others.

Wish I had thought about the oxygen-mask analogy on the way to, not back from, Symposium. I think it’s a good visual and I would have used it in my speech. What about you? Are you so busy securing everyone else’s mask in place that you forget to secure your own? I find that if I don’t take time to take care of my physical and emotional self, I eventually hit the wall, my productivity and happiness-factor goes down and my stress level goes up. Take a minute to think about your life. Do you always place your mask on last…or maybe not at all?

Is there anyone out there who isn’t feeling additionally stressed from the recent dip in our country’s economic state? If there is, I sure haven’t met them. As I’ve talked to my clients over the last several weeks, I’ve heard a common theme:  anxiety and worry about the future, specifically, people want to know what and how the financial implications of what happened on Wall Street will impact their future. I bet as a veterinarian you’re in the same boat. You’re probably wondering, “Will my clients be spending less on vet care?” , ”Should my team reconsider travel for meetings or continuing education?”

Ah, if I only had a crystal ball, I could predict how this will all play out, but since I don’t see one landing in my lap anytime soon, I am limited to offering you some good advice that can help offset the mental anguish you might be experiencing, due to the recent financial challenges of today.

I think it’s important to avoid over or under reacting by facing the current financial situation head-on. It’s easy to fall into one of two very extreme ways of responding when you’re faced with something that causes you to be afraid — shear fear or total denial. Don’t freak-out and don’t go to the other extreme either, by refusing to believe there has been a change in our economy and pretending it won’t affect you, on some level. Your practice or hospital, too, must account for some of the same cost increases as households. As in any situation that creates alarm or causes you to worry, if you can keep your head on straight, you will be more apt to make better decisions. Maybe you’re worried you may be losing some of your revenue streams, such as prescription drugs and vet-only products that your clients are finding on the Internet. Stay calm and approach these times with a realistic-optimistic attitude.

We all know that there are no absolutes in life and the winds of change can happen, good or bad, personal or professional, at any moment. Sometimes, I think we need to be shaken up a bit and remember the wisdom of Forrest Gump when he compared life to a box of chocolates — you never know what you’re gonna get. No matter how well you plan, you can never be sure the plan is going to work the way you want it to. As much as we wish it wasn’t so, life is a series of changes, phases and uncertainty.

I like what Tony Robbins, authority on psychology of leadership, says about keeping perspective during uncertain times. “There are two choices in life when it comes to facing uncertainty: fear or faith. They’re fundamentally the same thing — a product of our imagination. No one knows what the future holds, but the difference between fear and faith is that fear is imagination undirected. It grows like destructive wildfire, devastating our emotions and oppressing our sense of well-being. Faith is imagination directed. We have the choice to create a vision and move toward it confidently, ready to accept whatever the outcome will be. Mastering your fear doesn’t mean that it never shows up. It just means that you take control of it rather than it takes control of you. So when everyone else is running, you’ll be ready to see the possible advantages to what others only see as a bleak situation.

There is no doubt, our economy is down and people are worried, but history has shown that our country has gone through times like these before and, more than likely, will bounce back again. And at the risk of sounding too Pollyanna, remember that times of struggle are what make us think and help us grow. What may seem like a dismal situation is often an opportunity to learn and succeed. It seems you can’t always alter lif’s circumstances, but you can alter the way you deal with them by deciding how you will react.

How are you dealing with the recent changes in our economy?

Anthony Robbins is an authority on the psychology of leadership, negotiations, organizational turnaround and peak performance. He has been a personal adviser to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, the United States Army and Marines and Grammy-award winning musicians. For more information on strategies to thrive even in harsh economic times, visit thepowerofcrisis.com or tonyrobbins.com.

A few days ago, I was finishing up a lunchtime run, downing what was left in my water bottle, when I overheard two women in the atrium of my office building talking. “I wish I could do that, but I just don’t have the time,” I heard one say to the other, as she watched me walk by. I could feel my heart drop, realizing they were talking about me. As I walked toward the locker room and while I changed my clothes, I couldn’t stop thinking about those words, “I wish I could do that, but I just don’t have the time.”

You might think that running a busy veterinary practice and everything that goes along with it — reassuring clients, examining patients, performing surgeries and procedures, handling paperwork, managing team members -  doesn’t leave any time for you. I know what you’re thinking. You feel like you should be doing something productive all the time and taking free time seems like a self-indulgence you don’t deserve. After all, you’re the leader and the practice won’t function without you. Did those invoices get out? Are all the patient prescriptions filled? And so on. It’s an absurd way of thinking. Whatever the reason, you can make time for yourself. It’s really a matter of priorities, planning and time management.

As far as time management goes, there are some basics I like to keep in mind. For you, running your practice should be a priority. But I think you have to first understand what you can realistically achieve with your time and then plan to make the best use of the time available. I always leave enough time for things I absolutely must do yet I make sure there’s some time to handle the unexpected. I also try not to over-commit to others. It helps keep my stress level down.

I find that actually scheduling a time for “me” in my day timer works. For example, I’ll mark 1:30-2:00 pm as my time — and use it to get some fresh air, take a brisk walk, grab a book, meditate or just clear my head. You can do it, too. If you can’t get outside, just head for an empty exam room and make it known that you cannot be disturbed for X amount of time. Make sure it’s something easy, quick and special to recharge your batteries. It lets you know you are important.

I’m amazed at how rejuvenated I feel by leaving the building – even if it’s only briefly. Allowing myself free time during my work day also helps regenerate my energy and mind for tackling big problems or issues I’ve left aside. Maybe a particular patient or case has been troubling you. By walking away from it you might see it in a whole new perspective.

Being busy, hurried and stressed is when I find I need time for myself most. Time and space nourishes my soul and allows me to be more effective. And being more effective means I get things done better and faster.

What makes you think you can’t take 15 to 20 minutes for yourself?

When I think of fitness and overall health, the first thing that comes to my mind is physical in nature, like exercise, for example. But there is another area where we can make improvements–our brains. Do you know that mental stimulation boosts brain power? In fact, there’s increasing scientific evidence showing that keeping your mind sharp can defer the effects of aging on the brain, including the onset of diseases such as Alzheimer’s. There’s something called being “brain-fit” or training your brain.

OK, I know what you’re thinking. As a busy veterinarian with clients to take care of, procedures to perform and team members to manage, you don’t have time to play games or read, for that matter. Believe it or not, I’ve found that a quick five minute activity is enough time and can actually be fun (not that you don’t break a mental sweat running a practice). Plus, there are ways to stimulate more than just one area of the brain. Developed by neurologist Dr. Bernard Croisile and cognitive psychologist Dr. Michel Noir, “Happy Neuron” online brain games are designed to target all five of the main cognitive functions: memory, attention, language, executive functions and visual/spatial. Happy Neuron also provides players with a personal, virtual coach. Just as you might seek advice from a physical trainer, your virtual coach designs customized workouts based on performance and compares results to others to identify specific areas of cognitive weakness. Even if you only have five minutes, the virtual coach can create a quick workout around your busy schedule.

With that in mind, another website to visit is “brainbashers.com” for suggestions of what to do to work your mental muscles. Here’s what I came up with:

- Reading
- Crossword puzzles
- Logic and mind riddles
- Online games
- Sudoku
- Stereograms
- Jigsaw puzzles
- Optical illusions
- Cryptograms
- Word games
- Board games

If you work at it, you could actually make your brain work harder for you. Imagine not having to recalculate dosages of medications you use everyday, not forgetting to label that last x-ray or not having to check Sparky’s medical notes (again) for the same information. The list is endless, but you get the idea.

Has this ever happened to you…You come home from a long day at the hospital, tired and ready to unwind when you see that you’ve got a message on your machine; you press the button and listen. The message goes something like this: “Hi, Dr. Smith. This is Carrie Taylor. My son Zack attends school with your son James. I’m calling to see if you would be available to “chair” the up-coming career night at school.” Here comes the hard sell… ” No one has come up to the plate and if we don’t find someone soon, it won’t happen this year. Please call me and let me know if you can help out. Here’s where she goes for the jugular…You did such a great job presenting your veterinary career to the children last year, I know you would be perfect as the lead on this. Please call me at…

Your first thought is complete and utter dread. You have neither the time nor the energy to spearhead a project like this. You tell yourself that you can’t and won’t do it! But after a few minutes of thinking it over, you cleverly figure out how to pull the wool over your eyes, convincing yourself that you will call Carrie back and agree to lead career night . With a sigh, you pick up the phone and begin to dial.

Congratulations! You have managed to push aside your own needs for someone else’s, but that’s okay, right? We’re supposed to always say yes even if we want to say no, aren’t we?

Saying no is difficult. It feels like being honest (by telling people we don’t want to fulfill their request) isn’t even an option. Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of “the disease to please.”

I recommend three things to challenge your automatic pleasing button in order to do right for yourself and others who come knocking at your always open door:

Get in the habit of delaying your answer. There’s no rule that says you have to instantaneously decide how you want to respond to a request. The next time someone asks you to do something, tell them you’ll get back to them in a few days. Then weigh out the pros and cons, make your decision and don’t put off calling them back. We tend to worry, thinking people won’t understand if we say no. But I disagree. When I say no, (and I’m not saying it’s easy) I mostly sense an appreciation for my honesty. What I don’t sense is resentment, like I thought I would.

Ask yourself if the request is going to take up a little or a lot of your time. Weigh the yes-to-stress ratio. Making a presentation the evening of career night on what it’s like to be a vet will take a lot less of your precious time than heading up career night itself . If an activity is going to end up being another source of stress in your life — pass on it.

A typical way to start out a no response is to say, “I’m sorry but ,” because we think that it sounds polite. Don’t apologize. While politeness is a good thing, apologizing just makes you sound weak and whiney. Don’t feel bad about guarding your time. It’s possible to be polite and firm at the same time.

Do you have the disease to please? What do you do when you want to say no, but just can’t seem to make it happen?